I'm working on a new lyric for the band I play in. It's a very slow song and it would be nice to hear some comments on the lyric.

Perhaps I can show you the final version of the song when we finished and recorded it.

---

Giving ruins to an unborn

We're closing down their view
before they could see the light
We're holding down their voices
when they needed us the most

We've taught them all we know
but they never learned how to live
or how to set their minds free
they only earned what we give

----

opening up their eyes
like a virgin pays her dues
they still know what we told them
and wish to close ' eyes again

our dust runs through their city
seeing ghosts shaking hands
hasting through some rotten lifes
they can't close eyes again

now they know what we left them
and now they see what is real
all what's behind the learnt things
they don't quite know how to feel